What we think our lives are about.

You wake up and think of the things you have to do that day. What prevents your from thrashing that aside and doing what you want to do. Economic sensibility usually prevents us from doing what we want to do and shoes up towards what we have to do to continue our own existence.

The confines of what I think is real

My medicine is completely off. I only have one type of meds left and I forget to take them regularly. Financial windfall after accident has led me to having to leave what has been my domicile for 6 months. I will continue to get worst after I move this week. I know this for a fact.

a bit of wit on my taste of music

I tend to like various forms of music. I like to boil it down to the essence and let the music itself not just the words speak to me. Lately I am lending to music that incorporates strings and orchestra into pop/rock/indie/or Synth that I am listening to. Its finding the little jewels that have the haunting essence of such songs as "song to the siren"
Must so eerily beautiful that I seem to lose myself in the sounds that make me wish to lash my self to the deck of my vessel.

an update

I am almost done with my first semester of college. It was quite rough on me until I changed my scheduled. I really had to learn my limitations and work around them. If you did not already know I moved out several months ago. My cell phone number is still the same if you ever need to get a hold of me.
I am taking one class in the summer, it is an American Sign Language course. In the fall I plan on continuing my Associates in Liberal Arts and purse a Certificate in ASL if I like it enough.
I'm still very lonely. I try not to let that effect my life much. I still have not found another shrink I life. My dwindling supply of medication that works only a third of the time still concerns me. I wake up feeling like I have received a baseball bat to the head regularly.

almost a human being

I honestly write for no one but myself. Its only of the few resolves I have besides listening to music. It keeps the stranger at bay.
My belief is to never stop questioning everything, you just have to know what not to question sometimes for your own sanity. Questioning people is quite tricky I would rather live without hurting someone if questions that don't have to be asked are left while someone tries to put their life back together. I am trying that as well. Its getting better but sometimes just take time.

I have my class schedule for the spring semester. The courses have been paid for already. I need to get my books sometime before the 12th of Jan. I almost feel slightly accomplished.

I keep trying but no end is near. I hate having to take pills to go to sleep, you never know when your going to wake up. I am here litless and utter in contempt. No rest for the wicked I guess.