My mother has labeled me as lazy even though I do everything she asks me too, she says that her house should be spotless If I am going to be here all day. She told me not to go off and kill myself because it would kill her. Nothing is ever enough for her, never. I'm not trying to be lazy, really I'm not and her utter lack of understanding is doing nothing but driving nails into my coffin. The hole is already there I'm just waiting for the lid to shut.
I walk around in my house like a leper, trying not to get into anyones way but always seeming to aggravate someone, I can't do anything right. I was on the verge of tears and breaking down for 6 hours yesterday, and nothing could comfort me.
When I see people laughing and smiling, and they look truly happy, I want to cry because I do not know that feeling. Everything in my life just seems to be a stone that is added to the bags I carry on my back.
I really do just want to vex myself from this family. All I would need is some money to get a P.O. Box do a change of address from to reroute all my mail, cancel what of my cell phone contract that I could and pray that every night I don't freeze to death. I think I am beyond desperation, I just have a finale of sorts, always just a moment from the end.
Two days ago was the first time in years that I really just wanted to end it all, I had been doing so well, but everyone is so misunderstanding that they are just making my life such a hell, that I don't want to live it anymore.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment